??? Edit

Felix groggily woke up, holding his head. As his eyes adjusted to the dark, a few things became apparent to him, the walls were covered in numbers, his clothes were removed, and his body had been slathered in some kind of gel.

Thinking back to the events that led up to this...he realized what was going on.

"No...hell no..."

As he started to look around even more, a disembodied voice filled the chamber...

"Hello Felix...let's play a game."

Leena's B&B Edit

"This isn't good...Felix is missing and Artie is calling an emergency meeting." Nikki murmured as she, Blaine, Tyler, and Sandy entered the the B&B's living room.

Artie was fumbling with wires and cords with the help of Claudia, but looked up at the agents who had just walked in, "Good, you all made it. We have a pressing matter."

Sandy raised an eyebrow, "Why am I getting the idea that this 'pressing matter' has to do with Felix vanishing?"

Nikki rolled her eyes, "Maybe you being psychic has something to do with it..."

Artie shot a glare between them, "You can joke later, Felix is in trouble." He looked back to Claudia and nodded.

Turning the TV on, Claudia brought up what appeared to be a Farnsworth display, "Less than an hour ago I started to receive this on my Farnsworth, and with permission of Grumpy Pants over here, I managed to enlarge the picture for us."

Artie pulled out a file for the agents, "Last week, I sent Felix here to recover Billy The Puppet from Seattle, and he had yet to check in, that is until his Farnsworth began streaming this."

Tyler's face went pale, "Wait...back up, Billy the Puppet...from the SAW? Nope, no, no, no nope, nope." He quickly got up and started to make his way to the exit, "I do NOT do slasher films."

Blaine twisted in his seat, "Wait a second...Tyler Lepido, the guy who used The Bride's Katana to destroy a quarter of the Terracotta army and bathed in about 20 gallons of blood is afraid of the SAW franchise?"

Tyler glared at him, "Kill Bill is a kung-fu film. SAW is nothing but a slasher gore-fest. Sorry Artie, Krueger still tries to attack me a few times a year. Until he's gone for good, I don't do horror film artifacts. I want to help, honestly I do, but I can't."

"That's fine, you can stay and monitor the Farnsworth for any new transmissions. As for the rest of you, about a week ago we got a ping regarding some missing persons cases. Each one showed up dead some time later." Artie threw some pics down in front of the agents. They all averted their eyes.

"First case, death by blood loss. He was found wrapped in razor wire. Second, head crushed with incredible force. Third was impaled by several dozen nails. The most recent also died of blood loss, but they seem to have hacked off their own arm."

Sandy reached out and flipped the photos over, letting the rest of the agents uncover their eyes. "All ways people died in the films?"

Claudia nodded, "We think the artifact is drawing inspiration from them, until it can collect enough to come up with something new."

Artie looked somber, "He's a smart kid, but there have been no survivors so far, and it's been almost a week. It's not looking good." Sandy and Tyler noticably flinched. "We need someone to go out and find him, then get the artifact before it can kill again. Given that all the victims have been alone so far, I've decided you go as a group. Any objectons?"

A smile curled up around Nikki's face, "Not at all. Gives me an excuse to re-watch the series. Blaine, I'm going to need you to bring McGyver's Swiss Army Knife. We're going to need it. Sandy, fetch a healing artifact. To escape most of Jigsaw's traps, bodily harm is done to the victim. I'll meet you outside the Warehouse in half an hour."

As the other agents wandered out, Tyler gave gave his female co-worker a look, "Something is bothering you, isn't it. By now you're already on Netflix."

She nodded, "You're right..." She picked up the nail bomb victim, "This one. This one doesn't fit the pattern."

Claudia gave her a look, "Nikki, the guy died a horrible and cruel death, fits to me."

The HARP consultant shook her head, "No...I know this trap. All of Jigsaw's traps can be escaped, but this wasn't Jigsaw's trap."

Artie raised a bushy eyebrow at her, "So there's a deranged psychopath and an artifact on the loose?"

"No...this is still a SAW trap, but it was from SAW III. That film introduced one of Jigsaw's apprentices, but she failed to understand Jigsaw's philosophy. Whereas his were meant to allow the victims to repent, the appentices were all inescapable." She pointed to the charred, nail-covered remains, "This chain goes into his jaw bone. All the others were just in his flesh. Even if he somehow was able to remove that chain, the door was welded shut. He was screwed no matter what."

A scary silence covered the room as the other realized what she meant, Felix ran the risk of getting into an 'inescapable' trap.

"Nikki..." Artie slowly walked towards her, "That stream, did you recognize it?"

She nodded, "SAW II, Flamable Jelly Trap. One of the easiest to escape. Felix has good chances Artie...that is, as long as he doesn't get to close to that candle..."


Hello Felix. I want to play a game. You came here to try to stop me, but in your search to find me, you failed to see the answers right in front of your face. Now I have placed the answer right in front of you, but you don't have forever to find it. You see, you have been injected with a slow acting poison in your veins and the antidote is in that safe across the room from you. The combination is among all the numbers on the walls. Hurry up and program it in, but watch your step. And by the way, that is a flammable substance smeared on your body. So I would be careful with that candle if I were you.

Felix looked up at the voice, then to the candle, and then to the hundreds of four digit numbers on the walls.

"Well...I at least this is interesting..."

Almost an hour later, Felix stumbled out of the room. The jelly was some kind of kerosene based lubricant, and was easy to scrape off. As for the candle, being part feline had advantages. The small flame flickering in the middle of the room was more than enough light for his advanced eyesight. He rammed the syringe into his arm and breathed a sigh of relief as he felt the burning in his veins slow and then stop.

He took a moment to compose himself, then looked around the room. It seemed like an executive office. Made sense, seeing as he had tracked the artifact to a disused data firm. It seemed to be that the artifact could warp rooms into deathtraps at a whim. Testing this theory, he pulled open the door he had just come through and was faced not with countless digits and a candle, but rows of office cubicles.

"Fuck's sake.." he murmured to himself. An artifact that could change the layout of a building would be a pain. Just as he prepared himself for the hunt of a lifetime he heard an unsettling squeaking. From inside one of the cubicles, Billy the Puppet rode out on his tricycle. Not thinking twice, Felix grabbed a coatrack to beat it with and charged forward. He barely registered pain as a battering ram flew into his side, knocking him straight through a window and into a dark and out-of-place alleyway.